Charles Schaeffer was just days away from his release from Colorado’s highest security prison when he spoke about the legacy he inherited from a convict father and the one he hopes to leave for a 4-year-old stepdaughter.
“I love her with a full heart. I don’t want my daughter to be in here,” Schaeffer, a 27-year-old chronic thief, told five fellow inmates enrolled in a parenting class at Colorado State Penitentiary, about 5 miles east of Cañon City.
While a correctional officer watched outside a windowed, metal door, Schaeffer and the other men — all wearing tan prison jumpsuits — sat facing one another at tables inside a tiny classroom where instructor Tracy Swindler led the fourth of six lessons in the prison’s “Parents on a Mission” program.
The program is being taught in prisons across the Colorado Department of Corrections system in “an attempt to break the cycle of criminality of families,” said state DOC executive director Rick Raemisch.
“You can either invest in them or not invest in them, but they will be in parental situations again,” CSP warden Steven Owens said. “If they are going to be with their kids in nine months, why wouldn’t you do that?”
“Parents on a Mission” was developed in the early 1990s by Richard Ramos, a school counselor focusing on gang prevention at Santa Barbara High School in California. Ramos said when he visited the homes of some of the kids he counseled and met their parents, he “saw the lack of control, respect and parental relationships with their children.”
He added: “I thought these parents needed more help than the students I was teaching.”
Ramos developed a program that had a different focus than any of the others he had seen. Instead of showing parents how to teach their kids good behavior, it teaches parents how to deal with their own behavior before they attempt to teach their children.
“It’s an inside-out approach,” Ramos said. It’s designed to help inmates build confidence, forgive themselves and help them deal with inner feelings of failure.
He went from offering classes to parents to teaching trainers how to teach his lessons to extend the reach and impact of the concept. His teachings became so popular that he began traveling to churches, schools and community groups across the nation. In 2007, he formalized his approach into a six-lesson manual. The first law enforcement facility to undertake the program was the Lerdo Minimum Security Correctional Facility in Bakersfield, Calif.
The first prison system to give it a look was Colorado’s.
Frances Falk, deputy director of the state’s prison operations, called Ramos about the program. In February 2016, he came to Colorado and certified 40 prison employees to teach “Parents on a Mission” to inmates.
The idea for the program resonated with Raemisch, the former head of Wisconsin prisons who recalled having a grandmother, mother and granddaughter doing prison time at the same time.
Within two months, the volunteer classes were offered to inmates in eight prisons.
“The main response I’ve been getting has been from the staff,” said Ramos, referring to Colorado prison officials. “The staff members are blown away by the change of behavior of inmates. They’ve never seen inmates respond to a program like this. Inmate recidivism rates are getting better.”
Raemisch said it is too early to measure the impact of the program on recidivism because it takes three years after an offender’s release to draw valid statistical conclusions. But, anecdotally, he has spoken to some of the most unlikely of inmates to be involved in such a program, and it has already been a game-changer for them.
At 9 a.m. on May 3, the six state-penitentiary inmates began their lesson: “The Proper Use of Discipline.” They listened to a mentor who was quick to acknowledge his own parental foibles, yet he was passionate about his students’ chances of breaking generational cycles of abuse and bad behavior. Some of the inmates expressed skepticism about their ability to become good dads.
“Your kids’ eyes are on you. You don’t know how much you mean to your kids. You are ‘it’ to them,” instructor Swindler said. “You want your kids to be in here?”
“No,” the six men said in chorus. During the session the inmates, some with gang-themed facial tattoos intended to shock and intimidate, were quick to recount cruel parental discipline they experienced in childhood. Class engagement peaked as the inmates ticked off disciplinary tools their parents had used on them: light cord, belt, whip, garden hose, car antenna, fists, stick.
It was apparent that the abuse had taken a toll on the six inmates in the class. Each man was a convicted felon, jailed for crimes such as drug dealing, identity theft, assaults and robberies. But when asked who was responsible for them ending up in prison, Schaeffer and the others in the class — Joseph Hayes, Ronnie Carroll, Quentin Drake, Ryan Munoz and Jesse Gladney — each acknowledged that they alone were.
“My dad is at Limon (Correctional Facility),” Schaeffer blurted out.
“And where are you?” Swindler asked. It was the kind of banter bordering on confrontation that the instructor used repeatedly to drive home the point that the inmates were still in control and responsible for their own actions. Schaeffer seemed to get the point after some introspection.
He acknowledged that he was to blame for ending up in prison. He added that doing the class has made him reflect on statements his stepfather made in an effort to stem Schaeffer’s bad behavior.
“I just thought he was trying to be a (jerk),” Schaeffer said.
Swindler explained to the inmates that their own behavior would resonate with their children just as what their parents did impacted their lives. He told them that their children will look up to them and mimic their actions — whether they do good or bad. He encouraged them to teach kids that their lives have purpose.
“Teach children their life is not an accident. I can’t stress that enough,” he said.
“Do you really believe that?” Schaeffer asked.
He then said his wife was raped and bore a child. “My lady didn’t want nothing to do with the baby that reminded her of the devil who raped her,” he said. The little girl is being raised by her grandmother, Schaeffer said.
Swindler said despite the bad circumstances of the birth of Schaeffer’s stepdaughter, she is now surrounded by people who love her. “God don’t make no mistakes.”
Schaeffer nodded his head in agreement. He said when he was growing up, his biological father was in prison, his mother kicked Schaeffer out of her house and he was mostly raised by his grandmother. He explained that although he is not the girl’s natural father, he considers himself the child’s dad. He spoke fondly of her habit of putting makeup on him, including toenail polish.
During the 90-minute class, the six inmates, who were taking notes, often interrupted their instructor to ask how to spell words. Swindler discouraged them from cursing or bad-mouthing the mothers of their children in front of their kids.
“My dad used to do that all the time,” Hayes replied, referring to his father’s habit of criticizing his mother. “When I was a kid, the F-word and the S-word was every other word my dad said.”
But when Swindler asked how many men in the room had cursed the mother of their children in front of the kids, every inmate help up his hand.
Warden Owen said all the feedback he has gotten about the parenting program has been positive.
“It’s not going to cure everything,” Owen said. “Over time, I’d like to see them be a little better.”
Ramos said 70 percent of prison inmates across the country are parents. He believes that when word gets out about the merits of his program, it will spread from Colorado to prisons across the country.
Drake, who is up for parole in January 2021, said the course has helped him understand his role as a dad.
He said he has already taken steps that he hopes will help him become a positive influence in his daughter’s life. As part of the program, he will meet her in person at the prison.
“My daughter was born five days before I came to prison. I don’t even know her. I’ve never seen her,” he said. “This program has given me a purpose of being a father.”
